When Falling in love isn't enough

When I was young and idealistic, I always thought that falling in love was enough. Getting that giddy, sparks-flying, knee-weakening feeling was enough. After 4 years of being together, my first boyfriend and I were talking about marriage and starting a family. And then one day we broke up. I have been in and out of relationships since then... Sometimes I get to thinking... is there something wrong with me? Whay can't I hold on to relationships? Why can't I commit? In the end I realized, it was worth it to go through all those heartaches. Why? Because it made me stronger. It made me more aware of who I am as a person and what I am looking for in a man. Now I know what I want...

Keysi sent a perfect description of me in the letter she gave me before I was assigned to the US...
"Hey, if they ask me kung sino gusto ko kasama maonshore sa abnoys at isa lang... I will choose you coz' you are both fun and serious to be with. I love joking around with you as much as I love talking serious shit with you."
I have always believed in the similarity attraction theory in psychology. In layman's terms, similar people attract as opposed to the common notion that opposites attract. I guess what I am saying is...

I WANT to find a person that can make me laugh and at the same time, I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings with, my most intimate secrets, my dreams and aspirations. Someone I can talk with about anything under the sun... politics, faith, religion. I want someone I can respect because of his values and ideals in life. I want someone who can challenge me intellectually, someone I can respect. In short - I want someone as Keysi put it... someone I can joke around with and talk serious shit with.

I want to spend my life in pursuit of this someone... Someone who I no longer will have doubts with... someone I can commit to finally... someone I can call my own, my soulmate, my life's ultimate passion...

Now I have doubts mind you... I keep on wondering if there is such a person out there for me. Am I destined to be endlessly searching and always being on my own? Do I have such high standards? Maybe in the end all you need is to fall in love with a person and let that feeling grow in to love aka accepting the person with whatever faults he has. What is the point when you have to give up on your search for that someone and learn to love the person you are currently with? In the end I realized, I shouldn't compromise myself... If I have these standards, I will stay true to them. In a world of endless possibilities, where you can reach any dream you set your heart into -- for me, falling in love just isn't enough.